2015 is almost over!!!!

OMG!!!!
It's been super a while since I posted the last article here.....
and 2015 is almost over....

After about a half year passed since I started to work!
OMG, I didn't imagine how it would be especially me working at an office!haha

Anyways, somehow I am a business women now.
Well maybe not fully professional YET 

I thought it would be a pretty good timing for me to spill out my thoughts after a long time
Well I have to keep it a simple otherwise this article will stay as draft as previous ones

So I have decided to move on, which means change a company

This sentence makes me really emotional now
Maybe because I really like my co-workers, the fact I won't work with them or meet them often anymore makes me feel a bit upset....

My current company, literally saved my life and taught me a lot
When I was doing a job-hunting, I was really ignorant. Just didn't know anything about this society, how the economy works.

Like other Japanese well-known uni students, I thought I could easily get an offer from a well-known company and go back home early with good salary.
Well life is not that easy.

Even though at a big big biiiig company, people work really hard!
On the other hand, a small small small company people work very hard and also effects this society as well as a famous company.

Of course, small venture companies tend to have a lot of problems since they haven;t experienced a lot so far.
However, they are the future world leading companies. Without them, our economy is just going down.

Anyways, it was such a great experience for me to work at a venture company, especially my company.

Maybe some people is wondering, 'ok, why are you leaving?'
Well I just would like to use English more. That's it.
English has taught me soooo many things.
I am always motivated to study English, nothing else.
So I have decided to move forward to change a company where I can use English a little bit more.

It just so unbelievable that I told my boss 'I'm leaving'
and I'm feeling really strange.....

I guess in the future, I will be like 'oh gosh, I really don't understand what I meant at this time'
anyways this is how I feel now 
just a bit upset, surprised, puzzled

My Last UK Trip Has Began! / Life

I've realised how hard to keep writing blog posts.... It's just more difficult than I imagined.
It's already February! I'm in Nottingham now.

After coming to the UK this time, I just become speechless. Well everything is really confusing and every time I try to write something here, I have to delete them right after.

You might think what you're doing there? That's a question sooooooo many people have asked me. even an immigration officer. The answer is i'm enjoying doing "NOTHING" 
I know you might not be convinced. I'm a super organised person so that if I hear someone saying so, I would be like 'WHAT?' But anyway I'm here in Nottingham doing nothing.
This is because I start working in April so 100% I won't be able to come back to the UK. Since I've been such a world traveller these years, I really don't know whether I can stand up not being able to travel. People around me are so worried about me but anyhow I have to work and live on my own you know?
I just thought it would be nice to have time to think about anything without any pressure before starting work. Well I can do that in Japan but why not in the U.k. observing the different culture?

So I'm in Nottingham thinking about my life. My biggest fear right now is 'what if I can't meet the guy and stay single until I die' following 'what if I can't find anything I really want to do'
Maybe you think it's just too early to think about marriage. Well it's true but as a female, I have to think about my body because I want to have my child. I find this point very unfair to the male but at the same time very fascinating aspect of human birth. Moreover, it takes two to have relationships and get married. Well having no boyfriend for many years panics me. 
No single person will find me attractive and a partner.... No one loves me..... These kind of sad thought occupy me and bring me into a dark circle. Am I the only one who scares these thoughts? 
At the same time, not every marriage is the happy one. I'm not saying the divorce is bad bad bad but I wish I could find someone I respect and spend time together until I die. Maybe that's why it's sooooo difficult  to find the one....
The second fear; what if I can't find anything I really want to
Well it was really hard for me to find a job  since I didn't study so called practical subjects. There are so many jobs out there but I don't know all. What I've decided is doing something which can have a look the business itself and hopefully bump into the one I really want to. Well this sounds not specific enough but I guess my working experience will show me some way to go there.  

I just hope I can give you some sort of comfort for someone who feels a bit lost in their life. 
We can do so many things in our life but the life has the limit.........

Home stay in Vancouver / バンクーバーホームステイ

How's your new year? I had a very lazy one and cleaned my room finally feeling really fresh now :) Finally I couldn't finish posting all my trips in 2014 but I had a new trip at the end of the year.... Since the memory is still fresh, I should put it first!!
お正月いかがお過ごしですか？私は家でまったりしながら、やっと部屋を片付けて気分爽快です :)　去年すべての旅行について記事をかけなかったのにも関わらず、ありがたい事にまた年末に旅行したので、記憶が新鮮なうちにその旅行について早めに投稿しておこうと思います。

At the end of 2014, I did a home stay in Vancouver.
Just before the trip, I got really ill and stay at my bed for whole three days. Well health is above everything else!
2014の年末はカナダ・バンクーバーに行きました。
実は行く直前に体調をくずし３日間部屋に閉じこもっていたのですが、がんばって前日に体調を回復させ、健康第一だと改めて実感しました。

Home stay in Vancouver reminds me of my bitter experience. When I was 15, I did a home stay for the first time in my life. Well the result was really bad... haha 
Back then, I discovered my passion towards an English study and my score was pretty good, I'd say. I expected myself to be able to speak English pretty much well. However, I just could not speak any English and I was just a super shy and naive Japanese girl. 
Since I expected more, I was really disappointed the result and I was mad at myself.
After that, I realised the importance of speaking in English and also I learned that I cannot get a good result by being shy. I think this experience has made what I am now. 
This time, by chance, I get an opportunity to do a home stay again in Vancouver, I contacted my previous host family. I really didn't like my behaviour back then and I've been feeling sorry for my host family. I've been longing for making up for it. Miraculously where I stayed this time was close to them. We managed to meet each other again after 8 years!!!
Because of my limited English, we could not have decent conversations but this time we could know each other more :) 

バンクーバーでのホームステイと聞くと思い出すのが、中学３年生の時の苦い思い出。学校行事で生まれてはじめてホームステイをしたんだけど、英語を全く話さずに終わるという大失態？大失敗？
ちょうど当時私は英語の勉強に力を入れ始めていて成績自体はそこまで悪くなくて、私はしゃべれるとか思いこんでいたから、逆にとってもショックだった。この苦い経験の後、私はシャイでいるより、なんでもチャンスがあれば挑戦していったほうが少しぐらい恥をかいたとしても面白いし楽しいってことに気がついたわけです。この経験がなければ今の私はいないし留学中にcrazy Japaneseって多分呼ばれてなかったと思う笑
今回バンクーバーに行くってなって、前回のホストファミリーに連絡してみたら会えることになってなんと８年ぶりの再会を果たしたのです。８年前英語がうまくしゃべれなかった私は私なりにホストファミリーに悪いなって思っていて、なんとか埋め合わせができたらなって思っていたからとってもうれしかった。今回はたくさんお話できてお互いのことをよりしることができました！

The last time I did a home stay in Vancouver, I experienced halloween there. 
I did trick or treat and got many treats! 
前回はハロウィンシーズンだったので、仮装して実際にお家を訪ねていってたくさんお菓子をもらいました;)

This is my costume I wore for halloween.
Another thing I learned from my first home stay was how to pet animals. This sounds funny but I was generally afraid of animals. I didn't pet them or even approached them. This smart boy somehow often visited my room and became my best mate since we didn't need English to communicate each other. After that my fear towards animal has been decreased and I'm able to pet them now. 
はじめてのハロウィンはこの名前がわからないキャラクターの仮装をしました！なんだっけ？これ笑
このホームステイで学んだもう一つのことは、動物と仲良くなる事。えって思うかもだけど、それまで動物があんまり得意ではなかった私は触る事もあんまりしないし近寄ることもできなかったんだけど、英語をしゃべらなくてもいいってことから、お家の中で唯一の私の見方だったこのわんちゃんのおかげで動物に体する恐怖が薄れたのです。

This time, instead of halloween, I experienced Christmas in Canada!

In Japan, people celebrate Christmas but in a different way.  We eat chicken especially KFC and christmas cake. My family used to decorate a Christmas tree but we didn't put presents under the tree or we do not exchange presents each other. 
My lovely host family prepared presents for me as well and I experienced tearing Christmas wrapping paper haha 
Because it was winter time, I couldn't do a lot of outdoor activities but it seems as if there are a lot of activities in summer. I'd love to go back and experience them in Canadian nature!!

This time my host family had two adorable kids. Generally speaking, I love children so I really enjoyed playing with them. Now that I'm getting old enough to think about marriage and babies, the time with them strengthened my desire to have kids. Even though they have meltdown and they don't listen to what mom says all the time, they are just really cute anyway! 
Someday! SOMEDAY!!!!!

Home stay teaches a lot of things. I learn every time I do so. I appreciate my opportunity for the home stay thanks to wonderful host families!!!!